Credibility: Your Secret Weapon Against Conflict

When people trust you, they’re far less likely to question your motives—and that trust can be a powerful shield against conflict. Credibility is more than just having the right answers; it’s about consistently showing integrity, following through on commitments, and communicating with clarity and respect. In high-stress or high-stakes situations, a strong reputation for honesty and reliability can de-escalate tension before it even begins. These attributes are directly tied to your communication style. By building your credibility, you can essentially outsmart a great deal of conflict. Below, I offer a few areas to consider.

Time

No shocker here, time is the great equalizer. Make every effort to be on time, stay on time, and treat others’ time with respect. So easy to say, much harder to do. This one is a constant uphill battle for this communication evangelist and off-the-charts extrovert. I always have one more thing to add. 🤓 I’m vowing to do better. Who’s with me?

Environment

Much of your work is intangible, and people equate what they see with your professionalism. What does your desk say about you as a professional? This one encourages me to set the timer for five or ten minutes and clean up or organize one part of my office. I’ve been shocked at how well this one works for me. ⏱️

Demeanor

This one is critically important and directly tied to your nonverbal communication or body language. 🙂  We need to break this one down into a couple of subcategories:

1.     Overall demeanor – Day in, day out, are you someone who calms things down, or are you one who stays flustered and stressed out? Working with people whose big deal-o-meter is out of proportion, quite frankly, is exhausting, and it absolutely will affect others’ desire to work with you. Think of someone you respect and pay attention to their tone, facial expressions, pace, and responses. If they have earned your respect, they communicate in a way that earns credibility.

2.     Stress demeanor – Our demeanors can change on what I call game day. When the stakes are high and you're feeling stressed, does your communication change drastically? Research shows that the most effective leaders are those who can get through these times of stress in a way that calms the group, enables difficult conversations productively, and tackles the challenge with the team intact.

Defense-o-meter

Defensiveness is the absolute credibility killer. Think of someone that you’ve worked with who is super-defensive. Do you want to work with them? Nope. Do you avoid them? Yep. Is the person a strong leader? Not even close.

The truth isn’t always fun, but it is always a gift. Take every opportunity to listen openly to feedback. Sometimes this feedback will have merit; sometimes it won’t. Again, body language is key here; volume and facial expressions are especially important and can shut things down in a heartbeat if you aren’t careful. 😊😠🙃🥴

Word Count

The higher your word count is, the lower your credibility is. 😎

Hedgers and Fillers

Delete the bad habit of “ands, ums, you knows…” from your everyday conversation, and your credibility will immediately improve. Hear me, there will never be a time in your life when you will need MORE hedgers and fillers. This one has a huge ROI in any situation, not just during a presentation. 🗣️

You can think and listen twice as fast as you can speak, and this can cause a teeny brain freak-out when you are the speaker and there is any tiny slice of silence. When you notice any “ ands or ums” in your conversation, simply close your mouth, pause, and then finish your thought. Most hedgers and fillers start with vowel sounds, so by closing your mouth, you immediately stop the bad habit. Before you know it, the habit will be gone, vastly improving how others perceive your communication.

Grammar/Pronunciation

Many professionals are concerned about having an accent, but accents are quite interesting and engaging. Instead, focus on using proper grammar and clear pronunciation. For example, as a Southerner and a fast talker to boot, I make sure that I slow down and put endings on my words, so no matter what part of the country I’m in, people can easily understand. I don’t try to change or hide my accent; I simply make sure my grammar is correct and that I slow down. Done and done. 🤠

To wrap up, remember, habits always win. People don’t rise to the occasion; they fall back on their habits. Working on a couple of these habits will help you speak up with credibility during any situation and outsmart a great deal of conflict.